Ecce ego creavi fabrum sufflantem in igne prunas et proferentem vas in opus suum et ego creavi interfectorem ad disperdendum

The Wordsmith Legacy

⊆ 9:21:00 PM by AKBogert | ˜ 0 comments »

by Project 86


Knock knock knock
Sound the blows to the forehead from the
Mock mock mock
Of the words, a voice I hear every morning

Like stalking me from yesterday
The taunts of one who sought to frame
The picture of this desolate
This figure cowering

Every word a double edged sword
A double edged sword
My every word

Drop drop drop
Sound the sledge to the metal
Shot shot shot
Sound the pin to the chamber
My own words pound after me
Intentions bent on conquering
The very will I proudly claimed
Was the very ax that cut the nape

Every word a double edged sword
A double edged sword
My every word

(I'll never, ever look back
Sitting still, sitting still
Arrogant mindset of lusts
They search and strain and drink and stagger
When we are hollow
Sitting still, sitting still
You hate us cause we'll never go away)

"You can drown
In your own mistakes
Burrowing into the black
or you can take my hand"

Double
Edged
Sword
My every word

"This gift was never yours
So why would you ever think
That the words you said were your own?
I have chosen
And breathed
And forgiven
And changed
And purged
And cleaned
And forgave
And bathed
And carried
And soothed
And burned
And spoken and spoken and spoken and spoken and spoken and spoken and spoken...
Yours is not to proclaim...but only to obey."

The Beauty of Grace

⊆ 10:28:00 AM by AKBogert | ˜ 1 comments »

Unless you have been extraordinarily lethargic while reading this month's posts, you've probably noticed that my mood has been a bit more, er, sober than usual. And that's putting it very, very nicely. The reality is that for the past month I've, moreso than usual, been embroiled in a war against not only evil but myself as well. This lead to an inevitable state of cyclical self-loathing, sometimes accompanied by moments of brief reprieve. The last 48 hours or so have found those moments briefer than ever before; I felt like I was living in a black hole. This matter was further compacted by the entirely irrational activities of my father, who for whatever reason has chosen to dedicate the majority of his free time for the last two or so years to hanging out with or IMing people my age that aren't me. Thursday night my mother had to drive our inadequately equipped Ford E-150 to pick me up from work (with an impending blizzard, I might add) because my dad had taken the AWD/4WD Audi to Boston, out of the blue, to see one such teenager. So, while my mom risked our lives to go and get me, my father was driving 2 1/2 hours to Boston (and would therefore be returning most likely in the thick of the storm). Now, thank God, the snow didn't start until sometime in the late morning on Friday, but still, I am having difficulty finding rationale in his actions. Moreover, I have been a bit upset over recent events having to do with family activities. I recently expressed a deep interest in going to Disney as a last family vacation before I went to college because, among other things, I have only been there once before in my life--six years ago--and also because that was the last vacation we really had. My father immediately laughed at the idea; apparently we haven't got the money for this. We do, I noticed, have money for ATVs that are only used for about a month in the year, for multiple motorcycles, for new sofas in the basement (which were intended to make the basement room the regular sitting room for the family, but that plot was soon foiled when he bought) a brand new flat-screen television for the upstairs room, radar detectors so he doesn't have to pay attention to the speed limits in his Audi (which, for the same price, we could have gotten TWO decked-out Yaris, or Hyundais, or anything else which would've allowed me to have a car to drive, or at least practice on), etc. But no, the reason we don't have money for Disney isn't any of those things, it's the fact that us children are "always eating out, and never ordering off the dollar menu." Yup, that right there is it. My fault. Joshua's fault. Rachel's fault. Personally, I think the real reason we haven't gone on family vacations is because my dad would rather drive to Boston and hang out with Eric or go out to the diner with Scott than spend a week of hell with his own flesh and blood. But no matter how many times I or my mother (who is feeling about as husbandless as I feel fatherless) tries to get him to see how wrong his actions are, it never seems to convince him. Somehow, we're wrong, we're conspiring against him, and he's doing nothing out of the ordinary. Scott and Eric's parents divorced around Christmas time two years ago, and since then my father has pretty much taken over for their father, albeit without the keenest of wisdom (he fools around with them, plays video games with them, watches unChristian movies with Scott; basically reduces himself to an adolescent instead of a mentor or counselor) and in the meantime has been less and less of a father here. I wonder how long it will take before the same terrible thing that happened to their parents happens to mine.

I think that I summed it up really well last night when I told someone, "you know, life sucks. It really sucks." And yet, my attitude about everything has been very wrong over the last few days. Rather than praying or being hopeful, I allowed myself to tumble into an abyss of pretty much hating everything. Even my so-called cries for help--for example, lyrics posted here--were only half-hearted. Somewhere in my mind I knew that I couldn't expect to be saved without trying to save myself, and yet I never met God halfway. Last night, soon before I went to bed, I hated the world. I even posted the lyrics to Brave Saint Saturn's 'Titan.' What I hadn't counted on was, when I decided to play the rest of BSS's album to fall asleep to, I would soon be encountered by 'Heart Still Beats':

The girl in the alley kneels with exhaustion
She's guarded by the skinny guy who limps from some infection
Behind a veil of bleached thin hair her eyes tell a story
Like a photo of Berlin, December 1944
She's looking for a handout, she's been high for several weeks now
She's too far gone for whoring and the money just gave out
And her heart still beats inside
And the blood runs in her veins
A remnant of life remains
Her heart still beats inside
The man finally comes to the door, I've seen him several times
He always looks pissed off and his sunglasses stay on
I think he got his biceps and tattoos while in prison
And it doesn't seem to bother him when he says "go to hell"
And his heart still beats inside
The blood runs in his veins
A remnant of life remains
His heart still beats inside
The thought it comes to my mind, to somehow intervene
But it could bring me trouble, and what can I do anyway?
It's hard to be effective when it happens so often
To see a life unraveling, through drawn venetian blinds
I'm sickened by compassion, I'm stifled by my limitations
Anesthetic apathy, come take the pain away
And my heart still beats inside
The blood runs in my veins
A remnant of life remains
And my heart still beats inside
Oh God, we need you here
We're sinking fast and we don't care
The evidence is all around me, on both sides of my door
Our hearts beat
It used to be that that last verse- "I'm sickened by compassion...anesthetic apathy, come take the pain away"- was my heart. I even donned the alias Jaded Cross as an example of me being a Christian sick of circumstances around me. And when I transitioned to the empyreal wordsmith, my intention was to do away forever with that part of my life. And yet, there it was, sneaking back up on me, slowly becoming me. Last night, as I went to bed, I was captured by the words "Oh God, we need you here/we're sinking fast and we don't care/the evidence is all around me, on both sides of my door." Wow. That should be the cry of our hearts when we feel swallowed in darkness. Not "someone save me, I'm dying to get out," but "someone save me, I'm too exhausted to do it myself."

And it's true, the evidence is all around us that life ain't that great. That's what Satan's goal was- to take everything (ie imagination, love, gold, etc.) that God meant for good and twist it into something evil (ie sinful thoughts, lust, greed, etc.). As a result, we can't help but failing, quite a lot actually. When we allow ourselves to become slaves to those failures though--when we allow our hearts to lose sight of the light of hope--we cannot help but fall deeper into the darkness. This morning, music once more reminded me that I need to turn my eyes towards heaven, when Krystal Meyers told me:
Anywhere you are is never too far away
There's freedom from your scars
The mistakes that you've made, forgiven
The memories erased
Baby that's the beauty of grace
So blow a kiss goodbye
To all the pain you hide...
So, with all the resolve I can muster, that is my new creed. No looking back, no sinking into the depths, no hopelessness. My eyes shall remain fixed on heaven. After all, how can an empyreal wordsmith write if he never ponders the empyreal?

wade through the depths and bring me back

⊆ 1:09:00 AM by AKBogert | ˜ 0 comments »

beyond what i know and see
a darkness that will spy on me
eclipsed in this trajectory
a cancer that is eating me
destroy, divide
the dark inside
destroy, divide
the dark inside
in between the molecules is cold
no light for shaking fingers
to ever have their hold
and i'm afraid i'll never see the light
the blind are following inside this plight
hear it come
destroy, divide
the dark inside
destroy, divide
the dark inside
(titans looming over me)
(giants that are crushing me)
titans looming over me
giants that are crushing me
here it comes
destroy, divide
the dark inside
destroy
divide
the dark
inside
destroy
divide
-bravesaintsaturn

ineedYou

⊆ 11:04:00 AM by AKBogert | ˜ 0 comments »

I need You by Relient K
____________________________
I've dug up miles and miles of sand
Searching for something I can't see
I've just got bruised and battered hands
And a brand new void inside of me
Complete with walls I did create
From all the earth that I displaced
A mess that I have made from what
I've just let pile and pile up

I have not been abandoned, no
I have not been deserted and
I have not been forgotten

I need You
I need You here, I need You now
I need security somehow
I need You like You would not believe
You're the only thing I want cuz
You're everything,
Everything I need

Explore the cave that is my chest
A torch reveals there's nothing left
Your whispers echo off the walls
And You can hear my distant calls
The voice of who I used to be
Screaming out, "someone, someone please
Please shine a light into the black
Wade through the depths and bring me back!"

I have not been abandoned, no
I have not been deserted and
I have not been forgotten

I need You
I need You here, I need You now
I need security somehow
I need You like You would not believe
You're the only thing I want cuz
You're everything,
Everything I need
I need You
I need You now

When my hopes seem to dangle
Somewhere just beyond my reach,
You say You've heard my prayers
You've read my words there on the beach.

I need You
I need You here, I need You now
I need security somehow
I need You like You would not believe
You're the only thing I want
Cuz You're everything,
Everything
I need You
I need You here, I need You now
I need security somehow
Cuz You're everything
Everything (I need You)
Everything
I need You now.

A scattered dream that's like a far-off memory...

⊆ 11:41:00 AM by AKBogert | ˜ 1 comments »

This morning I had the luxury of sleeping past my normal waking hour. I accomplished this by setting my alarm clock for 6:00 am, and proceeding to hit the snooze button about four times. The interesting factor here is the state of one's mind in the nine-minute intermittent periods between angry button pushing. Sometimes, if you are unfortunate, you will feel like the time transpired in a matter of seconds. If that is you, then the memory of staring in disbelief at a clock face bearing ten minutes after the initial waking time is far from foreign.

But perhaps, like me, those nine minutes bring strange and complicated dreams that seem to last for hours. Perhaps you retain those distant worlds while traveling from snooze to snooze or maybe you visit four alternate universes in a matter of thirty-six minutes. Of course, if you really are like me, then you also won't remember what those dreams were about a few minutes, hours, or days later. Yet the knowledge that you had those dreams, and the understanding that they were deep and vivid and seemed to break the laws of time; that's the compelling part.

Lately my life has taken a form similar to that thirty-six-minute period. One moment I'm at school, another I'm in church--still another finds me battling enemies in a virtual realm. And yet the very next day I have the faint feeling that I'm forgetting something vivid and eternal, that each one of these 'scenes' is secretly related to the others and at some point I could see the chains that bound them but now I've been lost in an ever-changing web of seemingly unrelated activities.

Perhaps I'm just falling away from God. It scares me sometimes, the thought that I am splitting into varying personae who are but vaguely aware of each other's existence. I find myself watching a movie with one group of friends and then being unable to enjoy it with another. I find myself participating in conversations that some part of me wants nothing to do with. The scariest times are when I know exactly what to say and how it needs to be said--for example, in a worship service--and yet I doubt whether all of my being is following my own advice. I feel hypocritical even when I'm doing nothing wrong.

A while ago I read the book Veronika Decides to Die by Paulo Coelho, a story of a woman who fails an attempted suicide and ends up in a psych ward for a week--the only week she has left to live. During her stay, Veronika meets some interesting characters, but one of the most interesting ones is a woman who is perfectly sane and yet has chosen to remain institutionalized. Said character was put in the ward after an onslaught of severe panic attacks plagued her into insanity. Soon after arriving, she 'recovered,' but she came to appreciate a world filled with supposedly 'crazy' people. The book questions that term quite a bit. What is crazy, anyway? Is it a diagnosis for the patient, or a rare condition in which a person actually becomes cured while the rest of us remain undiagnosed? Social conventions--the way we interact cheerfully with those who we hate, simply because it's the way we're supposed to act, the way we waste away hours in front of televisions when what we really want is to be hiking up a mountainside or sheltering orphans in a third-world country, the way we (in America, at least) spend half our lives in school for the sake of a good job and spend our working years for the sake of a good retirement, when by the time we reach retirement we're too old to enjoy the sandy castle we've built--these things are so preposterous and yet if you question them you are labeled 'crazy.'


In the end this woman comes to the realization that it's okay to be crazy, it's okay to follow social conventions, as long as we never lose sight of what really matters to us. It's better to be alive and crazy than in a psych ward and cured. And that's a lesson I'm still learning. When I start thinking about my life and the facades I tend to paint on my visage, it's easy to want an escape. Like MXPX said, I need a room in a mental penitentiary, so lock me up with maximum security. The doctors say that they don't know what's wrong with me, so strap me down, it's time for my lobotomy.

Anyhow, my mind has been a sifter for a lot of thoughts and lyrics, and I was going to pour them out here but really that's irrelevant. Relient K's new release speaks volumes to my soul; it embodies my emotions much like Anberlin's sophomore release carried me through the late fall and winter. I think I'll leave you with a proverb:

16.33 We may throw the dice, but the Lord determines how they fall.

My heart's a battleground

⊆ 6:25:00 PM by AKBogert | ˜ 3 comments »

Sometimes, when you need to get a nail into a piece of wood, you have to swing the hammer down a little harder than you have been. Up until that point, you have been holding the small metal object as close to its intended target as possible, tapping on the head slowly but surely until such procedures can no longer aid you in your goal. It is at this point that you must make a decision.

Choice A. Stop hammering. In the grand scheme of things, the nail is in far enough to serve its purpose. Say, for example, you are building a chair with this wood. The nail runs through the top into one of the back legs, and will soon be covered over with the chair backing. You've tested it, and you know that the chair will support your weight, so go ahead: stop hammering the nail in and move on.

Choice B. Pull back your fingers from the area, line up with the head, and pound away with all your might. You, in your hurry to get the cheapest wood available, managed to get really knotty lumber, and thus the nail will not be going in without many hard blows. You might break a sweat. One thing's for sure, right now you are wishing you'd used a power drill and a screw. On the bright side, once that nail is in there it's not coming out. Ever. This chair will be sturdy until it gets burned or purposely broken.

I think, in life, we often want to go with the first choice. Sure, it's hard to compare life and using a hammer without feeling somewhat foolish, but it does illustrate a good point: we are lazy, and if we can get the job done effortlessly who cares if it's at 100% efficiency?

I suppose with chairs, it doesn't matter all that much. In the end, the worst that can happen to you when your chair leg falls off is a broken chair and a sore rear end. But what about in war? Should we fire only enough bullets to disable the enemy? Should we use only enough stitches to slow the bleeding? Of course not. If you don't destroy the enemy, he will recover and retaliate, albeit with more resolve and a vendetta against you. And eventually you're going to bleed to death if you don't cut off the blood flow. So it stands to reason that, when involved in battle, we ought to be giving it our all, even if finishing the job means never giving up, never relenting with our hammer blows.

But, you say, I'm not in a battle. In fact, I try to stay as far from flying ammunition and air raids as possible. So who cares? Probably not a lot of people. But who should care? You, and I, and everyone else. Because whether you've realized it or not, we are all in battle.

Anyone who has ever seen a Disney movie or read a reasonably good book is familiar with the theme of Good vs. Evil. We (unless you are a sadist) root for the hero. We want him to slay the dragon, save the princess, beat his rival, etc. When he starts to doubt himself, we cheer him on; we rally behind him and applaud when his right-hand man convinces him to keep up the good fight. There are times when he drops to his knees and wants to throw away his sword, but when he rises it again in triumph with the monster's head his trophy, all we can do is smile and say "well done."

That's all fine and dandy, you say, but what does that have to do with me? What have Good and Evil to do with my life, and when will you tell me what sort of battle it is that I'm supposedly engaged in? Because, as far as I'm concerned, I haven't been doing any fighting at all.

And that, my friends, is precisely the problem. 2 Corinthians 10:3-6 says:


For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ, and being ready to punish all disobedience when your obedience is fulfilled.

Take a look around you. Perhaps you live alone. You are in a room with no other inhabitants, silent except for your keystrokes and mouse clicks. You're also, according to Paul, in a war zone. You may read that and coyly look around the room, wondering where all the flaming arrows and roaring soldier's voices are. But the war isn't carnal, that is, it's not something to take place in flesh and blood. You cannot compose it from the elements or put on a special pair of glasses to make it suddenly appear. You cannot step through a door or wardrobe and suddenly be in the other, supernatural dimension that surrounds you. Nevertheless, it is there. And, according to Paul, it's erecting strongholds in your life, preparing arguments for you to use against God's small, still voice of Truth, and sending thoughts into your head specifically designed to cause you to disobey one or more of God's rules.

If, like you said earlier, you haven't been fighting, then perhaps now is a good time to stop and consider what those devices of the enemy--Evil, that is--look like in your own life. Perhaps you are an alcoholic or smoker. Alcohol or cigarettes may be a stronghold in your life--a chink in your armor, a weak spot that you don't want to give up--and is therefore a place where the enemy knows to strike hardest. He may even convince you to try to quit, without giving you the strength to succeed, so that you'll become discouraged in the fight. Quitting is not impossible, and yet if you fail a few times you may give up the idea of ever truly getting rid of it. You stop swinging the hammer, or maybe you just aren't actually swinging hard enough to push the nail through the knot.

Maybe your problem isn't a stronghold. You consider yourself pretty much 'together.' You went off to college, got a degree--heck, you're a Doctor of Theology. If anyone has the answers, it's you, and logic says to you that God can't exist. You are a proponent of 'moral relativism,' the idea that we cannot judge others because their value system is not the same as ours. What one African village considers right and honorable, a European township may consider abominable, but that doesn't give the European township the right to interfere. Human sacrifice is their system of values, and so they must be right. Hitler believed in the Aryan race, and thus annihilated millions of Jews, homosexuals, and 'undesirables' from the territory he controlled. But hey, if that's what he felt was right, then who did we Americans think we were storming Normandy and fighting back the Nazi invasion with other Allied troops? That may sound absurd, but it's the "logic" that people just like you use everyday. I say to you "I think abortion is wrong, and should be stopped," to which you respond "That's because of your narrow-minded religious views. But those people think it's okay, and it's not affecting you anyway, so what's the big deal?"

The big deal is that your moral relativism is selective. It's none of my business when I try to apply my moral lens to abortion, homosexuality and stem cell research, but the moment we talk about genocide and third world countries, I'm a sadistic freak if I try to support ethnic cleansing. How does that work? If you truly think about it, it doesn't. Thus the 'logic' that you use to tell me, the Christian, that I'm wrong is actually a faulty argument that you would never have used if you'd approached it from every angle. But you didn't, because the enemy set it up in your mind and you went with it because it didn't require you to do anything different in order to accept it. You could leave the nail sticking out of the wood because your argument "proved" that the chair would be 'good enough' as-is.

Believe it or not, however, those first two are nothing compared to the final device of the enemy; thoughts. Close your eyes and think of something. A tropical island, wind blowing softly through the palm trees. You smell the sea as the waves roll along the beach, and the sensation of flight takes over as you rock back and forth on a nice hammock. Sight, sound, smell--all of these can actually be experienced just by using one's imagination. If you can dream it, you can do it. And, very often, if you can do it you will do it.

Thoughts are the flaming arrows of the enemy. You have millions every day, some are good, some are negligible, and some sneak in from the enemy. The forces of evil can shoot as many as they want towards you, and not really care whether they hit or miss the target. The point is, once an arrow hits you, you have only moments to extract it before the fire catches under your armor where it pierced you. If you fail to do so, you will be a smoking skeleton before long as the fire trapped beneath your armor ravages your body with tongues of flame. And that's just one arrow.

A popular brand of Satan's archers is lust. A simple glance at a magazine, television, book, school, sidewalk, office building--heck, even a church--will immediately reveal the presence of sexuality in our lives. To revert back to the analogy, from the time you open your eyes in the morning to the time you close them at night (and even after that), you are under permanent heavy assault by just one type of attack (and there are many others). You see a picture in a magazine of an attractive celebrity. The arrow hits you in the side. If that is the end of it, then you have pulled the arrow from your side and survived the blow. However, what if that isn't the end? You glance back, maybe stare at the picture. Now there are a few more arrows, and they are all still on fire. Perhaps you are on the train home. When you get home, you get on the internet and begin to search for pictures of this person. You notice one of the sites boasts nude shots. You raise your brow, close the door to your room, and start to look through the material. Thankfully you came in quietly, so your spouse doesn't know you are home; they're asleep upstairs. Thirty minutes later, you've gone way too far down that line.

Let's review that, shall we? It started as a thought. Rather than brushing the thought aside or rebuking it, you allowed the thought to linger. You dwelled on the thought, and eventually were persuaded to act upon it. It is at this point that you have already lusted, and Jesus tells us that any one who lusts after another commits adultery with them in their heart. Even before anything physical has taken place, you have managed to lust and commit adultery. By the time you slide into bed to fall asleep beside your faithful partner, you've been consumed by sinful flame and taken down by the enemy. Tomorrow morning you may feel a bit regretful, but then you see another magazine ad, or a commercial on the television, and days, weeks pass. A single thought has enslaved you to a lifestyle of sin.

And that's just with a picture in a magazine.

You may think this is all a bit exaggerated, but it isn't. In fact, it happens everyday. It's become so commonplace in our society that we've started to call it the norm: every teenager should have had sex before graduating highschool, and since that's what they're gonna do anyway, let's just distribute condoms, cuz that will fix the problem; college life is all about sex, drugs, and alcohol, so let's talk to our children about the potential outcomes. Let's try to scare them with STDs and videos of DWI crashes, because it's much easier than telling my child they're still under my authority and that authority includes a strict abstinence policy; people masturbate all the time, so let's make lewd jokes about it in our comics, our cartoons, our late-night television, and if we can get away with the innuendo then let's put it in children's material too; we can make money if we sensationalize secret affairs and scandals, so let's put them everywhere we can.

You get the point--with that single arrow Satan has been torching people to the ground for years. And it's not just lust that's so powerful. Every action we take spawns from a thought in our minds. You look at the pack of gum before you slip it into your pocket without paying. You look for the cop before you speed through the red light. You think about yawning, and you're bound to yawn. Hopefully, you think before you say something. And every time one of those thoughts is an attack from the enemy, you need to be prepared to grab it, rip it out, and discard it before it can cause further damage to you.

A song I've listened to quite a bit over the last several weeks bears the lines: "So many ups and downs/my heart's a battleground." Despite the fantasy nature of the game for which that song was written, I can't help but notice the truth it carries. Every day and night our hearts are battlegrounds, places where the enemy can shoot arrows into which we can either respond to immediately or else lose the fight. But don't forget the second part of that verse: "...the weapons of our warfare are...mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments...bringing every thought into captivity...when your obedience is fulfilled."

We are armed for this battle; we have the hammer in our hands. The question is, are you ready to start swinging? And if you've been swinging, are you ready to keep swinging with all your might? I won't lie to you- this fight will always be hard. It's one thing to say "I'll keep fighting for a week or two." It's quite another to rise from the ashes of fallen comrades, grip your sword tightly in hand, and say "I know that this fight will last until the day I die. But I'm ready to take this battleground."

As for me, well...this is a forge and I am a smith. You can guess which path I choose.

The Art of Swordsmanship

⊆ 7:41:00 PM by AKBogert | ˜ 2 comments »

The blind man shook violently as another gust of dreadfully frigid air drove him further against the cold stone wall. He lifted his hands close to his face, blew into them a few times, and proceeded to rub them together in a vain attempt to create heat through friction, but he was old and his arthritis prevented his endeavor from lasting long. Realizing his activity was futile, he slid his sore members into the brown rags that contained his frail skeleton. The river of mud was about an inch high, and as its intensity rose so did the man's need to find shelter. Unfortunately he was too tired to get up, too poor to afford a room, and too weak to force his way in anywhere. So he remained, saturated by the browns and reds of some deteriorating building, his shivering growing increasingly violent with each passing minute. He didn't know it, but he would be dead by morning.

For a moment he thought he heard footsteps approaching, and his head rose in anticipation. However when the sound failed to repeat itself he decided it must've been the thunder. Perhaps he was losing his mind. Then he felt something brush past him, and he reached out desperately, hoping to find a good Samaritan at the end of his grasp. Sure enough, his hand caught onto some material, sodden through with rain water--perhaps it was velvet?--and he cried out "Please, whoever you are, please help me. I'm blind, and I've no shelter in this storm." The figure seemed to stop and consider the man's pleas. Even though he couldn't see, a glimmer of hope shone before his eyes.

A calm, sweet voice returned his appeal: "No shelter, you say? Then it seems we have something in common." She chuckled, and then tore her hooded trench coat from his grasp. "Try not to catch a cold" she laughed as she walked briskly away from the beggar. As he contemplated the woman's words, a chill began to work its way from his fingertips up through his arms, pausing at his chest before it exploded throughout his entire body. He tried to cry out, but it was as if his lungs had been frozen solid. A single terrifying vibration manifested itself in his body, and then he dropped limply to the ground, his tongue hanging out in the reddish river and his steely blue eyes glazed over like the surface of a lake at midnight in January.

The woman walked for another ten minutes or so, and then she turned into a seemingly abandoned apartment. Closing the door behind her, she reached two scarlet-gloved hands up to her hood and pulled it back to her shoulders. As a gargoyle grinned down at her through a busted window a brilliant flash of lightning illuminated her form. Red boots led up into a similarly scarlet jumpsuit. In fact, the only part of her that wasn't red was her hair; this was a deep fluorescent pink.

Agape found a single wire hanger in the closet, hung her trench coat on it, and proceeded into the next room. She walked over to a bookshelf and removed several large volumes, scanning the titles and tossing most of them onto somewhat fresh ashes in the nearby fireplace. She paused to reflect the title of one of them, placed it on a nearby table, and continued to throw books into the recess. Content with the kindling, she walked over to the fireplace and sat down on the only other object in the room, a wooden rickety chair that looked like it had seen one too many fires in its lifetime.

Lightning flashed again, revealing the title of the volume as she picked it up to open it: "The Art of Swordsmanship." She thumbed through several pages, mumbled something to herself, and then placed the book face-down on the ground. She reached behind her, grabbed the handle, and slowly slid a shiny, new katana from its sheath. She turned the weapon over in her hands several times, and then struck it against the stones of the hearth. Sparks flew, and several hit the dusty pages of the discarded volumes. She repeated this maneuver once, twice, a dozen times, successively faster and harder with each new stroke, until smoke began to rise. Several strokes later a single flame rose up from the nearest title, and within five minutes the blaze was commendable. Happy with her work, Agape ran her fingers over the steaming blade and then returned it to its original hiding place.

Lightning struck a third time, and as she bent over to retrieve her reading material for the night two slits could be seen on the back of her scarlet body armor, a little below the shoulder blades.
___________________________________________________________________________________
I figured I may as well post the first new Agape scene as well, so you had an introduction to both my characters. Truth be told, I wouldn't mind posting all of my posts here, except that they wouldn't make much sense without the rest of the characters. Happily both of my posts are before Dave returns to the story, and they don't involve any other characters. Now, naturally, you probably won't get the significance of this post since you haven't read the preceding story, but the last time we saw Joy she was in the clutches of her "manager" Blake, wearing red leather tight pants and not much of a shirt. Here she is quite changed, and in case you didn't figure it out by that last little bit, she's had some, er...modifications reminiscent of her arch-enemy, Azriel, who you met last time. Quick catcher-upper on their relationship: he killed her mom, putting her on the streets, forcing her into Blake's arms, thereby making her a prostitute. So she doesn't like him much, and the last time she had a chance to kill him, Jonathan's character got in the way, humiliating her in the process when Azriel regained the advantage and escaped. We can assume that she has been studying up on her adversary, because as everyone knows the only way to outsmart your enemy is to think like him first.

Oh, as for ping-pong, Dave won, I didn't, and neither is a surprise. The zeal with which he plays ping-pong is in some ways greater than the zeal with which he bowls (see Arachnophobia and... if you forgot), except that when he bowls he is forced to be somewhat violent in the action and when he plays ping-pong he can be quiet and reserved while owning everyone. In some ways this makes him seem even more competitive than he actually is, if that's possible. Anyhow, someone remind me that I was going to tell you about how my dad once shot a neighbor in the chest with an arrow.

"It's time."

⊆ 9:28:00 PM by AKBogert | ˜ 1 comments »

Now Playing >>> Anberlin- Prelude into Godspeed

~October 12th, 2878~
----six.months.later----

A translucent sphere of hydrogen and oxygen hurled itself from a black, ominous mass and shattered into a million fragments as it thundered into the cobblestone. Billions of similar spheres did likewise as golden light shafted from the sky, accompanied by the ear-splitting roar of thunder. Icy wind raided the streets and alleyways, searching for victims to stab with its needle-like sharpness. The doors were locked and the windows boarded up tightly with pieces of plywood.

As the lightning struck a church steeple, its light reflected off of the black, slick surface of a combat boot. The rain slid harmlessly off a suit of carefully crafted armor as the wind tried but failed to permeate the billowing folds of a black trench coat. A slender arm protruded from one side of the figure, lending itself to a glove clenched tightly about the hilt of a beautiful katana. Fresh crimson slid along the blade and dripped into the crevices between the cobblestones, immediately drowned in the shattered tears of heaven.

Azriel reached the center square and stopped. Slowly yet carefully he raised his weapon towards the sky, twirled it like a child's baton, and then slammed it down into its sheath with a force that shook down his spine and into the stainless steel plating that encased his entire left leg. White teeth revealed themselves as his lips curled slightly in a sinister grin, and he dropped suddenly to one knee.

Thunder pealed as two magnificent blindingly white wings shot out from beneath his shoulder blades. With a terrible gracefulness he pushed off from the ground with all of his strength, launching himself against the rain which in turn hurled itself into his face with all its might. He landed beneath an old acquaintance of his; a stone gargoyle seemingly shared his joke as both perched there, staring down at the empty avenues and grinning maniacally.

"It's time."

____________________________________________________________________________________
That was an excerpt from the 'rpg' story that my friend Dave started a while ago. The idea is to create a character or two for yourself, and then use it along with other people's characters in whatever world the creator has designated. In this case, the world is futuristic and horrible. Dave had a general idea for where he wanted the story to end up, and will thus progress to that point with his character. We are supposed to figure out what he's thinking and follow suit. The story died off back in October of last year but Dave and I decided it was time to revive it, even if the only members were he and I.

I have two characters in this particular story: Azriel, showcased here in all of his contract killer glory, and Agape, the orphan turned prostitute by the cold shoulder of society. Don't worry, we have a strict gratuity-free policy (ie no sex/cursing, although innuendo is expected given the setting and characters). I figured any of you who have read my thoughts on the real world might be interested in the way I write fictional accounts, hence this excerpt. I don't intend on repeating this measure, so if you miss this, it's your loss.

Anyhow, if you are the sort of person with no life, or a good degree of writing talent (we prefer both) then by all means drop by the site, www.davetheprophet.proboards57.com, and create a character for the story. Remember, of course, that the story is not mine and therefore I do not wield any authority once you leave this page, so play by his rules.

And, well, I guess that's pretty much it. Tomorrow is ping-pong tourney at Charlotte's house, should be interesting.

I Need You

⊆ 8:27:00 PM by AKBogert | ˜ 0 comments »

I've dug up miles and miles of sand
Searching for something I can't see
And I've just got bruised and battered hands
And a brand new void inside of me
Complete with walls I did create
From all the earth that I've displaced
A mess that I have made from what
I've just let pile and pile up
I have not been abandoned, no I have not been
Deserted and I have not been forgotten

I need you
I need you here
I need you now
I need security somehow
I need you
Like you would not believe
You're the only thing I want
Cause you're everything I need

Explore the cave that is my chest
A torch reveals there's nothing left
Your whispers echo off the walls
And you can hear my distant calls
The voice of who I used to be
Screaming out "someone, someone please
Please shine a light into the black
Wade through the depths and bring me back

I have not been abandoned, no I have not been
Deserted and I have not been forgotten

I need you
I need you here
I need you now
I need security somehow
I need you
Like you would not believe
You're the only thing I want
Cause you're everything I need

When my hopes seem to dangle
Somewhere just beyond my reach
You say you've heard my prayers
And read my words there on the beach

I need you
I need you here
I need you now
I need security somehow
I need you
Like you would not believe
You're the only thing I want
Cause you're everything I need

-Relient K

No shirt, no shoes, no service.

⊆ 1:00:00 AM by AKBogert | ˜ 1 comments »

It started as an experiment with mortality and ended in much the same way. There was no food in the house and I coerced my father into taking my sister and I (the only current denizens of the house, since Joshua and my mother were out for the night) to the diner. After much deliberation I ordered a Cajun-style NY steak with mashed potatoes. Eventually I ate said meal, trying to the best of my ability to avoid the deadly white goo known as 'fat' but getting an ever-sinking feeling that I was not succeeding as well as my health might require. Nevertheless, I completed both steak and starch, and soon after I dialed Mike's cellphone to find out what was happening when he got out of work in twenty or so minutes.

Fifteen minutes later I was standing in the Baklajava as Griffin and Mike finished their cleaning. As paranoia began to kick in, I decided to run across to the local CVS for some Tylenol and Rolaids, the one for a potential "hey moron, you don't have a gallbladder so you shouldn't have eaten that steak" attack and the other for, well, flatulence protection. I returned to the store and, after hoisting a few bags of garbage into a dumpster, we were on our way to pick up Nico. That being accomplished, we turned left onto Route 22. Our destination? A late-night airing of Zodiac. Along the way I had a text messaging battle with Charlotte, who was already at the theatre (she had gone to see Breach with her father), with the aim of convincing her to stay there and see yet another movie, this time with us. Eventually we arrived (which is a miracle, because the fog tonight gave London a run for its money) and walked into what appeared to be a very elegant and wonderful movie theater. Something about judging and book covers comes to mind...

We bought our tickets and then meandered to the opposite side of the lobby, where a burly looking woman with a very uncordial disposition demanded to see proof that we had indeed stopped at the first counter. I produced my ticket, and she noticed the wonderful "R" established by the MPAA, and immediately demanded ID. This I produced, and then I stepped to the side to wait for the others. Here, of course, was the hitch in our plan. We five seniors, all between 17 and 18 years old, had not considered the necessity of photo ID. Griffin, for example, only had a student ID, and the woman told him he couldn't go in. Charlotte, seeing this, ripped her own stub off and slid past into the hallway beside me. Mike and Nico passed through without incident, and then Griffin joined them while attempting to accomplish what Charlotte had so effortlessly just done. Halfway down the hallway a less burly looking man caught up with us. His heavy-duty flashlight and ugly blue uniform made his occupation more or less immediately obvious: security.
"Can I see your IDs?" It didn't take long for Griffin's faux pas to be unveiled (oddly enough, Charlotte was never suspected) and for the lot of us to be told "I don't want to find any of you in Zodiac." This bothered me quite a bit, because I had had nothing to do with the attempted 'sneaking in' and in fact had attempted to deter them from trying it. Nevertheless, even though I had been checked multiple times for identification, I was being told that I could not see the movie due to guilt by association. I let the customer services desk know how I felt, but to no avail, because there is no written form for complaints and the woman seemed fairly unmoved by my pleas for justice. I should add that Griffin still maintains that, because the burly ticket-tearing woman bears a different ethnicity than himself, this was simply a case of racial profiling. Not because I agree, but because that's Griffin for anyone who doesn't know him.

So we got our refunds, got in Mike's car, and then realized we had absolutely nothing to do. The result was a very interesting and convoluted car ride throughout the city of Danbury. Mike never got the clue that music was needed, and so Charlotte began impromptu singing, beeping, and other bizarre and unearthly sounds (which, I think, only Nico and myself could hear anyway) as a substitute for studio-quality harmony. Mike's minivan, which devours gasoline, was in need of a refill, and so we ended up at a Getty station with a fuel truck parked across half the lot. This made it difficult to get in and out, because after you were done fueling you actually had to reverse into a 3-point turn to escape. As we were pulling in Charlotte offered to pump the gas, to which Mike replied that he'd rather she just went in and gave the guy the money for the gas. Charlotte seemed to think that this would put her in great peril and in all likelihood the activity would result in her rape. Needless to say, we didn't send her in to pay (Nico took that responsibility) and so while Nico ran inside and Mike stood at the pump, Charlotte, Griffin and I sat in the car musing over possible entertainment for a Friday night under our conditions. I suggested we hijack the fuel truck, but it was agreed that Griffin could not be entrusted with the wheel because he would most likely end up crashing. The tattoo parlor across the street presented an equally appetizing solution to our monotony, but alas "Ken's tat2" didn't seem to be opened. I don't even think it was Ken.

At some point I noticed the little piece of paper by the gas station door, which read "Shirts and shoes must be worn at all times, or else no service." I wondered audibly whether that was truly the minimum requirement. Charlotte caught on and asked what we thought they would do if she went in with no pants--indeed, "buck naked" by her own vernacular--and Nico said he'd love to see their faces. I reminded her of her recent rape scenario phobia and, as she later reflected, walking in without those particular articles might be considered probable cause and thus "it wouldn't really be rape anymore."

Anyhow, before we could put either scenario--or, the more exhilarating option: both scenarios--into action, Mike finished fueling and one 3-point turn and two near collisions later, we left the Getty station, the hijacking and the raping behind us and traveled through dense fog through Danbury. There is not a whole lot to say about that particular portion of the trip, except that Charlotte wanted Taco Bell, Griffin asked if we'd seen the rats, and Charlotte said "looks delicious." (This was later qualified by a somewhat accurate statement that who cares? At least it's good rat). Also, Danbury has an immense supply of car dealerships and auto mechanics, some of which offer quick lubes.

It took Mike quite a long time to get back on the highway, and in the right direction, but eventually we managed to head back home, although we hadn't really accomplished anything and none of us were quite ready to turn in for the night. Mike, as always, suggested Blockbuster, and I suggested the A&P, both of which would be open, and so we ended up hitting them in that order, although I don't believe anyone got anything at the latter. Griffin did consider absconding with a rutabaga though. And so, at last, our night came to an end. We dropped Charlotte off at home, decided to make the mall a destination for tomorrow, and soon after we said farewell to Nico, whose mother makes excellent fudge, which I can't eat. Mike and Griffin dropped me off back here at home, although before I got out Mike said "you should blog about this" and I said "I might, but don't expect anything tonight."

I think I'm going to add labels to this one, just because I can.

Goodnight.