The Forge

Although i've been somewhat outspoken in the past as to my views on the Roman Catholic church (more to the institution and its hierarchy than to the devout that follow it), i must say i've always found the concept of the Seven Deadly Sins to be, if nothing else, romantic, in much the same way that one appreciates medieval architecture or Gothic novels. There's something foreboding and utterly unforgivable in it--that is to say, the notion that any sin be unforgivable--and yet the concept is an attractive attempt to, in seven sins, encapsulate nigh all a man can do that is not perfect in God's sight.

To that effect, there is for every deadly sin a parallel virtue, a trait one must uphold so as to escape the grasp of its counterpart transgression or else, it being too late to avoid the snare, to take up fervently that virtue's practice as a form of penitence.

By way of casual musing i have come to the conclusion that i must be condemned of three of these seven cardinal sins: that i have, as i dare say any man has done (not that that alleviates the charge), lusted, and been consumed by such habits as shall necessarily follow unfulfilled lust; that i have for the great part of my life taken to consume whatever and whenever it suit my fancy, and in embracing such gluttony have caused much physical and social damage upon myself; and that i have spent far too much of my life in lethargy, whether it be induced mostly by my state of mind or my physical ability to sustain active exertion.

Lust. Sloth. Gluttony.
Thus fall the charges.

And in the interest of redemption, if i am to believe that willful acts of virtue might cleanse me of sinful habits, even if the actual redemption takes place only by the good grace and blood of my savior--well then, in the interest of redemption, i shall endeavor to embody the virtues that play rival to the sinful urges: wherefore lustful behavior had been my master, be it now replaced by chaste thoughts and actions; wherefore much drowsiness and procrastination have been allowed to rule, may they be deposed by routine of physical activity and well-budgeted time; and wherefore food had been consumed in gross portions and with little consideration given to the contents thereof, may there now be some semblance of control and intent in all repasts.

Chastity. Diligence. Temperance.
Thus falls the sentence.

Of course, there is a certain degree of irony in saying that a primary issue of mine is my inability to initiate, bear with, and complete any sort of plans, and then to say i've a plan to fix my issues, and that such irony is difficult to overcome even when the matters at hand are not of a spiritual nature.

In thus recognition, i ask for prayer support, and in addition to the prayers you may offer i would humbly request that, if you know any group that is taken to praying in an intercessory way, that my name be given them as well.

I mentioned, not long ere, that my first step to recovery was to get out, and to keep my chin up, and to be less socially inept. I've taken, i should say, strides in that direction, but in doing so have come to all the more despise those parts of me i deem least in keeping with a healthy being.

Also, if my manner of writing be formal (which, of course, it is) allow me to blame it on the profusion of Shakespeare and Hawthorne i've been (for lack of a better word) plagued with over the last week or so.

And so, without further ado, shall i attempt this trifecta of virtue.