The Forge

Soon after arriving here at Grove i was introduced to a sport i'd never truly played before. You may recall my enthusiasm about Ultimate Frisbee, a game that combines the free-spirited activity of Frisbee tossing with the competitive flavor of football. Perhaps i ought to have curbed my enthusiasm a bit: i seem to have forgotten it is, like football or rugby, a sport. And you need to be an athlete to participate in sports.

Having read that you are thinking one of two things. Either that i've just stated the obvious, or that i'm wrong and "anyone can play if they want to." If you are in the latter crowd, i would like to take this opportunity to correct your thinking. You see, while it IS true that anyone can be on a sport team, it's far less valid to say that everyone on the team has the same chance to participate.

It would be patronizing to try to convince me i'm not the worst player on our team. My weight is an obvious contributor to my inability to run for any reasonable extent of time as well as the dearth of height i am able to achieve by jumping. I'm not very strong, which means that getting the disc to go long distances and/or very quickly is difficult and strenuous. My arms hurt after throwing decent hammers. But then, at least they're decent hammers.

Truthfully, it's impossible to excel in anything without frequent practice. And while tossing the disc or "running drills" for an hour or two are nice, they fail miserably when it comes to defending against actual aggressors within strict boundaries. Before the IM leagues started up, we were constantly playing pickup games with other people in Hicks. But ever since we started "seriously" playing, legitimate practice has become virtually nonexistent.

The only hope for me to improve, then, is in-game. But you too would probably find it difficult to practice on a field when no one ever throws you the disc. I'd estimate that i get my hands on the Frisbee about twice a game. In over a half-hour of game time i possess a Frisbee for all of fifteen seconds. And you can be sure it's not because i'm covered. Initially i was uncovered in the end zone, but our team decided not to utilize the hammers and long throws we use during our "practice sessions" unless someone like Ivory is in the end zone and so i was entirely ignored. So i moved in-field. In fact, i remained basically on defense as instructed. And every game i'm standing there, wide open a few yards away from the person with the disc, blatantly ignored. Then another teammate will run between him and me and the disc is quickly tossed off. It's as if my voice is somehow lost to the wind a few feet after leaving my mouth.

You can call me bitter. But i rarely ever see any action in these games. I'm the worst player and will continue to be if i never get any opportunities to hone my skills in-game. It's just like when i played soccer in elementary school. Sure, the first few years i was disinterested but after that i really did want the ball to get passed. My lethargy after that point was simply due to the fact that my teammates--usually the kids with "real potential" (and naturally the cocky ones)--were ball-hogs.

I don't mean to accuse my hall of being cocky. They're all great guys and the team is generally pretty well-bound. But i'm having difficulty understanding why it is that my playtime is so astronomically smaller than theirs. Are they doing it on purpose? I don't know. I certainly would prefer to believe otherwise. But the fact remains that, intentionally or not, i am ignored almost all the time when it comes to "actually playing" and this i resent immensely.

Suddenly i realize why i love volleyball so much. It's because i've had a chance to hone my skills. Because in volleyball, the opponent decides who gets the ball on your side; not your teammates.