The Forge

"What are some activities not in keeping with Grove City College's mission and goals?"
"Typing up resources through activities such as . . . mass e-mailing"
-Excerpts from The Crimson, the official GCC handbook and planner.

And thus, when a classmate of mine sent an e-mail with the header "Evil Triumphs!" from her computer, she probably shouldn't have selected every person with "@gcc.edu" in his/her e-mail address to receive it. Unfortunately we don't always (often, even) do as we ought, and the consequences range from negligible to apocalyptic. When a body of approximately 3000 students, workers, professors, deans, a provost, and the president of your college has a front-row seat to your shortcomings, the consequences most likely include a perpetually tarnished reputation as well as whatever punishment the authorities see fit.

Perhaps worse (though this is certainly contestable) are those who are quick to point out the error of a peer and in doing so condemn themselves. I confess, i fall under this category as my rather scathing rebut to this classmate's mass mailing managed to itself be mass mailed. Microsoft has been devilishly un-clever in placing its "reply" and "reply all" options together, which is why my message intended for two offending individuals ended up being sent to the same body of 3000.

What ensued is nothing short of shenanigans. Even as i write new e-mails arrive in my inbox, some of which were sent 3-4 hours ago. My mistake has proven to be one of many: anywhere between 15 and 30 people have sent a variety of responses to the e-mail, condemnations of it, entirely arbitrary comments, and/or spam (this in the form of images). One particularly offensive peer sent no less than 10 copies of his message to the entire body.

The response, both inherent to these replies as well as the Facebook groups that emerged shortly after the first mailing, is not very encouraging. To be sure, people have good reason to be concerned, if not a bit angry, about the incident. One might expect the leaders of the mob to be those whose legitimately important e-mails (for example, to professors in regard to impending assignments) were impeded by the literal murder of GCC's e-mail servers. Yet this group's voice is a small one among the many screaming for retribution and frosh blood. Another thing to note--roughly half of the offending replies were by upperclassmen. Thus, it's not only the ignorant newcomers with a penchant for annoyance.

I wouldn't bother bringing this whole thing up (okay, i probably would, but still) were it not for the appalling content one finds when scanning the angry voices of a supposedly Christian institution:

-The title of the aforementioned Facebook group includes a profanity
-"Austin is by far the biggest dumbass. As for this Presidential bullshit, Bush sucks, Hillary blows, vote for Ron Paul."
-"when the faculty, Dr. Jewell and all those other hot shots open up their inboxes tomorrow after an uneventful night at home, their wrath is going to be upon you all as well. Good luck. Adam Bogert, no one cares." This was in response to my two posts on the group's wall, defending myself as best i could while acknowledging my faults.
-(the same person as last) "I don't think we're just blaming her. I mean... some of the idiots who replied had to be freshmen too right? Or would an upperclassman actually dare to reply" (actually, yes) "Right about now I am laughing my pants off thinking about Dr. Jewell opening his inbox tomorrow. I guess that's one positive effect of this night of mayhem." Wait so, you are thoroughly enjoying the idea of the college president having his day ruined? Or is it simply that you gleefully anticipate the demise of those less perfect than yourself? Hm...

After finding that i significantly disagreed with what that particular person was saying, i ventured to PM her (this somewhat provoked by the "Adam Bogert, no one cares" comment). Really, the conversation was sad.

Me: (subject: About what?):
I'm just seeking some clarification as to what it is no one cares about.
Me?
What i said in the reply-all?
Any of my various comments here?
If you could clear that up, i'd greatly appreciate it.
Not that anyone cares what i appreciate.

Her: B and C. Writing in academic format on a posting wall is one sure way to annoy people. I would have said all of the above, but Jesus cares about you so that would be a lie.

Me: (having not read the second part of that, as it came after i started to write my reply): I write as i speak. It can't be helped.

Her: Try.

Me: At least i'm consistent, which is more than i can say for those who say with their mouths that Jesus is the Way--that He was right when He said "love your neighbor as yourself"--and yet deny that very same expression by being unforgiving and condescending towards people despite countless apologies.

Her: Please go away.



And i let it go. The fact is, i've noticed that most of the people here are living a Christian life without the Christ.

As i sat in Crawford Auditorium this morning, twenty minutes before Chapel would commence, i looked around the room at the faithful who had arrived to voluntarily worship God despite the fact that they were only obligated to give up 20 minutes for a twice-weekly sermon. I thought to myself, "These, these are the real Christians." Yet as i set those around me on a higher level than others i never once considered myself to be part of them. I certainly wouldn't claim piety. So why did i feel compelled to transfer that classification to others, whom i knew nothing about? Furthermore, who was i to diminish the importance of all those absent from the hall?

The truth is, and it's becoming increasingly clear to me, we all seem to be pre-programmed to put each other (and indeed ourselves) on different levels. We assume some people are better than us, and we need a group below us to balance out the self-esteem. In this we entirely abandon the ideals of humility and equality that we as Christians ought to manifest. No doubt, i condemn the attitude and language that tonight's ventures have resulted in. But i'm not so brash as to consider myself a better person because i don't do likewise. For while my sins may not be the same, they weight the same in God's eyes.

The natural response here is to say "well, if God is going to judge you and the person who insulted you equally, why not insult her back? Why not do whatever you want to, if you can just repent later?"

Repentance is a pretty complex idea, one i won't try to get into. Indeed, it involves more than lip-service, but rather a true grievance of the heart to have sinned against the Master. During a recent excursion into the Bible i flipped to my concordance and sought verses dealing with the subject. When these failed to meet my expectations, i moved a bit further up the page and discovered another word: reconciliation. And under this word i found the end to Jacob and Esau's tale, an ending i honestly didn't know existed.

Many think they know the story of these brothers, how one tricked their father into the blessing of the other, and had in the past traded a bowl of stew for that brother's birthright. Esau, finding how he'd been wronged by Jacob, took off to find him (Jacob had run at his mother's warning that Esau might try to take his life). To be certain, this pursuit was long and discouraging. But the true power of this story lies in Genesis 33:1-4: "Jacob looked up and there was Esau, coming with his four hundred men . . . he himself went on ahead and bowed down to the ground seven times as he approached his brother. But Esau ran to meet Jacob and embraced him; he threw his arms around his neck and kissed him. And they wept" (NIV).

Following this reunion, Jacob gives Esau a very costly offering, which he forces his brother to accept. He then humbly requests that he stay behind to tend the livestock, rather than leaving with the others. He is not simply 'sorry' for what he did to his brother, but makes a major effort of showing his penance even after it's been made clear to him that he has been forgiven.

See, i've been just as guilty as anyone else when it comes to living the Christless Christianity. My mind's been warped, my jokes are coarse, i shrug off valuable questioning of my character. We've all been doing it. Some people are too violent. Some are too sex-driven. Some curse a lot. Some act differently than they are so that they'll fit in. I don't really know why i've been lying to myself, but i have. Until now, i've not really been sorry.

But as i searched that room of "Christians," my eyes latched onto the lyrics above the stage. "You're higher, Jesus, You're higher....Your name, Lord God, You are higher..." And questions flooded my troubled mind. I wondered, God, WHY did you make us? HOW will this all pan out? And suddenly, for the first time in a long time, i was sorry for playing the hypocrite. I took my mask off. And i felt better.

But feeling good isn't the point of repentance. I strive for the next stage. I want to live a life that so clearly proves my penance that my words are unnecessary. Part of that, i think, requires doing what i find to be True, Righteous, Pure--even when such action may result in my ridicule. I don't claim piety, but neither should you.

"But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with them. They are the kind who worm their way into homes and gain control over weak-willed women, who are loaded down with sins and are swayed by all kinds of evil desires, always learning but never able to acknowledge the truth" (2 Timothy 3:1-7).

With these people, we are told, have nothing to do. And so, let us not be in love with ourselves; let us not be proud or boastful; let us not be lovers of pleasure; let us cast off the form of godliness that we deny with our actions; let us acknowledge the Truth. Take off the mask; let's end this masquerade.